It has come to my attention that my E-mail postings to the site are being monitored. Certainly hackers are attempting to hack this site on a regular basis.
As such I am porting this site to http://www.ntnbn.wordpress.com
There updates are done via a secure server. Please bookmark this new address.
Matt Black
One of the last vestiges of the BW Canal era is consigned to history says Hugh Baton. The "BW Key" will be replaced over the next 3 months with a new high security version. The "AV key" will cost £100 and only be available from AV offices or by post. The reason for this change is that every Tom, Dick or Harry could get hold of a BW key for around a tenner said Hugh and gain access to AV facilities
The metal mural by the side of Dallow Lock on the Trent & Mersey canal has been the site of some intriguing battles over the years.
After it's installation it was proposed, by BW, that a device emitting loud high frequency audio be fitted in the vicinity to deter vandals / graffiti artists. This had to be removed in the end after the courts decided it breached the yobbo's (you can't say that ...Matt) human rights !
A new device may be the answer. It is a combination of the anti-collision radar fitted to cars and a scaled up version of the ink-jet assembly in your computer printer. In essence the radar locates the presence of an individual and the unit issues an audible warning. If this is ignored and the person moves closer they get sprayed across the chest with paint.
Now as you can imagine this initially was created much alarm amongst the do-gooders until some bright spark had the idea of actually writing I LUV MY MUM across the chest of the intruder. A touch of genius I think you'll agree!
Even the most liberal human rights activist could not object to those sentiments, and what yobbo would be seen with that on the front of their £50 designer T-shirt?
Hugh Baton said AV were aware of the system and would be watching trials of the unit elsewhere with interest.
For some time now it has been the policy by the Engineering Dept. of AV(2010)PLC to dump sludge from dredging operations on the nearest suitable bit of towpath. However, as the dredging funds had been withdrawn for 2006, this anti-social (and anti-boater) behaviour was assumed to have stopped. Not so! Several stretches of towpath in the Braunston area have been covered in the aforementioned sludge. This is somewhat surprising as there did not appear to be dredging operations in that immediate area. Even more curious is the stretches of towpath to suffer this fate. They just happen to be areas that continuous cruisers frequent during the winter months. There were mutterings claiming "harassment" of continuous cruisers as the root cause of this state of affairs.
I mention the above as a backdrop to an event which took place at the local AV(2010)PLC area office. It seems sometime over the weekend someone had dumped several lorry loads of manure in the AV car park. Not just anywhere mind, but all across the "executive" car park in front of the building. There was a placard on the top of one heap, claiming the perpetrators were members of the Provisional IWA!
The police were called but as the problem was on private property it was not obvious to them what crime had been committed so they went away again. They returned some time later in a large van and proceeded to fill plastic bags with some of the manure. The policemen described their actions as "collecting evidence", but why they needed 50 bags of evidence remains another mystery.
An unidentified spokesperson (Hugh Baton is on holiday) for AV(2010)PLC announced a new service for boaters having problems with stiff gates. This service was immediately dubbed the "Flying Lockie" service by the boating press.
Beefy blokes mounted on all-terrain BMW motorbikes will stationed near to known trouble spots. Boaters in trouble at unworkable locks (our description not AVs .... Matt) will be able to ring a number and call up a "Flying Lockie" to help them. A 30 minute response time was quoted.
Phone calls to AV along the lines "Why don't you fix the lock gates by hanging them properly" were directed to the Engineering Dept. where "Everyone was out".
Following an accident near Horninglow Basin on the Trent & Mersey Canal in which a boater on the tiller of a hired narrowboat was injured by a low bridge, H&S officials have been called in to investigate.
The boater received a nasty cut to the head, which was treated by the AV paramedic who had been called to the scene. It took the biggest Elastoplast he had in his box to cover the wound, he said
H&S officials are now considering making the lower section of the T&M a linear "Hard Hat" area. Similar proposals have been made in the past regarding the Caldon Canal and all tunnels on the system.
One investigator said he didn't know why AV had done this when it was formed.
(It seems the boater is now suing AV for not putting up warning signs and in a separate case suing the paramedic on the grounds that the boater is allergic to Elastoplast..... Ed).
Police were called to a case of malicious damage at a supermarket near the Staffs & Worcs canal in Kidderminster. It appears a battered supermarket trolley covered in slime was repeatedly rammed into the store managers Audi car causing extensive damage to its black paintwork.
Security cameras showed a middle aged man in scruffy jeans, a hoodie and a blue baseball cap making rude gestures to a security camera nearby. A man from the local deaf school was brought in by Police to view the video footage. However, due to a mix up he was himself arrested for using obscene language. The phrase at the root of the trouble was believed to be "How do you effin like it winker"?
Police thought a member of the Provisional IWA could be responsible.
There are a two main reasons for the site moving to Blogger, both to do with security.
On several occasions recently there have been attempts to hack the old NNN site, presumably in the hope of revealing the identity of The Vole. We have had experts tracing the source of the hack and we have narrowed it down to a few users. No names no pack-drill, but we know who you are.
The second incident is quite strange. The Mucky Duck was moored up in Fazeley and Rudolph Hooker was having a "siesta" following a dinnertime session in the Three Tuns, when he was awakened by somebody climbing onto the front of the Mucky Duck. They took away the two bags of rubbish perched there, ready for disposal, and hot footed it down the towpath towards the junction.
The boater moored next to the Mucky Duck was amazed. He didn't realise AV personnel did a rubbish collection service! Nobody else does either. So there you have it, the Mucky Duck has become a sitting duck. Presumably, by now, the rubbish has been sifted for any useful documents pertaining to NNN. None will be found as Rudolph never bothered to write anything down. It's ironic that the rubbish thieves were foiled by idleness.
Rudolph has stepped down as Editor and is now free to pursue his first love, that is research into canal-side drinking establishments. He will still provide useful data from time to time as it is truly amazing what you can pick up in canal-side pubs according to Rudolph. I assumed he meant information, but knowing Rudolph maybe that was a false assumption!
I, (Matt Black) will, as my name suggests, be keeping a low profile as collator / editor of this site. You can rest assured the recent security issues will not stop NNN. It has just highlighted the need to be more secure.
Matt Black
This site is based in 5 years in the future. BW has been privatised and is now known as AV (2010) PLC. No one is quite sure what AV stands for, some have said Aquatic Ventures. Personally I think someone just made that up on the spur of the moment............. Probably Hugh Baton, Director of Communications.
(I understand the idea for the name came after someone at the the image consultants watched the film 2001 over the Xmas break. The computer in the film was called HAL, one letter "short" of IBM .......Matt).
Life on the cut goes on much as ever. This news sheet takes a slightly sideways look at what is happening or, for that matter, likely to happen.
Matt Black
I am the collator of information for NNN. All other details are withheld for security reasons.
It has come to my attention that my E-mail postings to the site may be being monitored. Certainly hackers are attempting to hack this sit on a regular basis.
As such I am porting this site to http://ntnbn.wordpress.com
There updates are done via a secure server. Please bookmark this new address.
Matt Black