The Vole -- Use it or Lose It

There is a joke in AV(2010)PLC that if you don't know what to do with a document, or other data for that matter, you store it on the Z Drive on the corporate server. Z drive is, of course, write only......

For many years much data, regarding Bandit problems, has been consigned to the Z drive. Not any more. Now there are parts of the system that, despite having "Towpath Renewal" programs and the like, are still regarded by most boaters as prime Bandit Country. The Curly Wyrley springs to mind....... From today all Bandit incidents reported to AV from certain canals will now receive maximum publicity.

AV(2020)PLC is also desperately trying to cut costs on the day to day running of the system.
What have the two in common? Well, I have it on good authority (straight from the executive loo) that parts of the system are to be close down "for the safety of the public" during school holidays, but may, in actual fact, never re-open. The real reason for closure is of course to save money.The reason given, public safety.

A use it or lose it campaign anyone ?

Rudolph Hooker -- Health & Safety

I was in a pub the other day (here we go again.... Matt) chatting away to another boater who cruises single-handed on a regular basis, when the topic of lock safety came up.

She had seen new notices on locks stating that the wearing of life jackets was compulsory when operating the locks. Between us we had nearly 20 years of locking experience but had never fallen in a lock. What have we been doing wrong we asked?

Another stupid development is the fencing off of the tail end of locks. This restricts the options to single-handed boaters (and crews alike.... Matt). Presumably walking on the roof of a narrowboats is soon to be made verboten too? Status boaters would, of course, never dream of walking on the roof anyway.... Think of all those muddy footprints darling !

Then a thought occurred to us, maybe the two were linked? Maybe part of the reason we had not been for a swim in a lock was because we used the roof of the boat as a "safe haven" in slippery conditions and had painted it with non-slip paint?

The Vole -- A Lockies Life

AV has received a number of complaints recently regarding the behaviour of Lockies. I was at a meeting recently where the latest of these complaints was discussed.

It appears the skipper of his £250k floating gin palace and crew of 4, hailed the Lockie (busy cutting the grass) on the Atherstone flight and demanded he worked the locks for them ! He asked if the crew were disabled, and when the reply was of "of course not" he went back to cutting the grass.

The meeting was to consider AV's reply to the written complaint from the narrowboat's skipper. "Tell him to F. Off and buy a cottage" was my suggestion, but this outburst was met with a stony silence! I had unwittingly displayed "real boater" tendencies!

In the end Hugh Baton suggested that the reply should infer it was not AV policy for it's staff to work locks for able bodied crew.

However, if skippers were to purchase a Platinum Licence ?