The Vole -- Accounting Problems

There has been a major cock-up in the accounts dept. at AV(2010)PLC. A large sum of money has been place in the wrong column on the master spreadsheet. Now you would have thought the company accountant would have spotted this, or the finance director Hamish Sidebotham, or the auditors. But No. No one spotted this until there was a cash flow problem.... like we ain't got any and our bank is not happy.

The net result is much of the maintenance budget for next year has been cut and licence and mooring fees are set to rise by 20% to cover the black hole. The question on many boaters lips is why are we paying for these people who can't do simple accounts ? Not only will we be paying for their mistakes but they seem to keep their jobs despite being incompetent. Well, one answer is the Accounts Director is know internally as V.O.G, the Voice of God.

Who dare blaspheme ?

Rudolph Hooker -- Precise Weather Forecast

I was in a pub the other day and glanced at a newspaper and an article regarding a local weather forecaster caught my eye. It appears this rather lovely (female) weather presenter had been asked to describe the weather at her present location and she replied "It's pissing down" not releasing she was on air.

This "forecast" hit the headlines for it's colourful language, but I think it should have hit the headlines for a totally different reason. It is the first forecast this year that has been, clear, concise and 100% accurate.....